The magic of discovery…

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I spent a good deal of last night writing a blog entry about magic, it’s intangible and inexplicable air of possibility, and how I have spent the past three and a half years trying to understand the particular brand I find of it here in the Balkans. Looking over my words I have yet again not been able to capture it, yet I continue to jump across magical moments here as though they were stepping stones. I’ve built bridges between places and people but also enjoyed settling for long periods of time in this town of Kotor that I have singled out so particularly. I move around within its stone walls as if it were my home and I wasn’t some strange Australian girl who had weasled her way in and disrupted their lives repeatedly.

I keep collecting intangible moments here, wondering if it’s possible to continue sampling this place indefinitely or if my luck will eventually run out, but as I look around at these smiling faces, hearing their hearty laughter, I know the memories of their magic will last within me. I know this because I have been back here only a few nights and it feels like a fortunate lifetime.

If there is one paragraph I can rescue from my scrapped blog post from last night it is this one: Can I take these people with me? As I watch them all I love them even more and no photo or video could capture them as they are in this moment, in this place, at this very point in time. Their magic is in the faces they pull at each other in jest, their booming voices, and the way they somehow let me be part of all this in a way that seems like an exception to the rule. I am a foreigner but somehow I also belong to their family. They call me an honorary Montenegrin, although I will never know how I earned this title.

The music is always better when Vlado plays it. The company is always better with my Montenegrin girl gang around. The night is always better when a song, a person, or a passing hug in an empty street reminds you of why it is you keep coming back. Travellers all ponder whether to extend their stay here without being able to put their finger on why, but I know why. This place is something to be felt, not abstractly described. These people are to be enjoyed, not analysed.

That point applies to every aspect of this entire country though. I spent an entire day on 360 Monte Travel Agency’s Great Montenegro Tour just two days ago and I have been trying and failing to capture its essence in words. Though I have wonderful photos (as you can see), the truth is they don’t demonstrate the feeling that this didn’t really feel like a tour to me rather than a day out with friends. Slavko was a wonderful host, leading us around this beautiful country and making us laugh. It was a social day as much as it was informative and interesting, and while we were all tired by the end noone seemed to be in a rush to get back to town either as we enjoyed one final stop for coffee and cake.

I know I have to start planning my exit strategy, but I am glad I can take my time doing it at a snail’s pace, and as I do so I will soak it all in. This town. These people. While I know I will be once again overwhelmed when it is time to leave I will never take the unique magic of this place for granted. It may be a long time until I feel its embrace again, because I don’t know what the universe has in store for me from here, but as always I hope this is just one more incredible window in time and not the last.

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Scary, delicious freedom…

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I’m sitting here, drinking my coffee, staring at a piece of toast wondering what will become of me? I am here again, ready to embark on a trip to another foreign land that I only know about through words, pictures and pieces of film. Nothing prepares you, because a new place is rarely like anything you’ve ever encountered before and it rarely is what you thought it might be, it’s so much more. There is such greatness in uncertainty.

I’ve been pacifying myself for weeks and months trying not to be too eager, not to get too frustrated, not to get too ahead of myself so that when the time comes I’m open to every experience that is presented to me. I don’t want to be locked into any preconceived misconceptions or false fairy-tale ideals. Life is not a fairy-tale, but it is an adventure and that is exactly what I’m so keen to have: an adventure full of scary, delicious freedom.

I want to be scared because that gives me a chance to confront myself and grow. I want to taste what the world has to offer because there are more flavours to the world than we could possibly consume in a single lifetime. I want to meet with the open road and throw my old ideals out the window to make room for new insights. Perhaps one day I’ll eventually figure out a way to process and express all this newly obtained knowledge.

What it all comes down to is this: I am not running away from routine, I’m running towards change. Change is so important. It’s wonderful. It’s something to embrace rather than be threatened by. Adaptability is an asset, a strength, and there is nothing that requires adaptability more than an adventure. No one can tell you how it will turn out, where it will lead, who you will meet, or what obstacles you will encounter along the way.

So what if the unknown is scary and that some of the experiences along the way might be a harsh mixture of bitter and sweet? Nothing will prepare you for what it feels like to chose your own direction in life. Adventure can be found starting a new job, getting married or a many number of other ventures. It can be found anywhere that you dare to seek it out. Take the bull by the horns and really show yourself what you’re made of and live.

So don’t waste your time judging other people’s affairs. There is no logical reason to make comparisons between your journey and theirs. If someone’s daring adventure is starting a family, embrace it. If the call for you means throwing yourself into a different country, take pride in it. Not everyone was made to grow in the same direction so cheer on and encourage those who are running enthusiastically toward great change in their lives.

For me, today, it means taking a bite out of my toast knowing that in a matter of days I will be taking a bite out of a completely different culture. I can’t wait to drown my every sense in Japan. I look forward to being overwhelmed and in awe of everything I find. I can’t wait to wake up amid this upcoming escapade and see what I can learn from it. Japan: if you’re willing to be my teacher, I’m willing to be your student for five weeks of the unknown.

Japan here I come…

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Photography by Erika Kochanski.

This little piece of metal and plastic. I bought it over a decade-and-a-half ago, around the time I used to steal travelogues on Japan. You know, before they handed them out freely and used to keep them hidden behind counters at travel agencies for serious clients who had serious potential for purchasing tickets, not young teens with sticky fingers.
 
This little piece of plastic and metal sat in a drawer for years before it got its first use: flying to the U.S. to spend time with my then boyfriend and meet his family. I was thankful that it was finally useful, even though in my heart I still pined for it to be used in Japan. When I told him this, we started planning to go. I bought [more] books and excitedly wrote [more] lists of things we could see, but this dream slipped away yet again when I realised it was never going to happen, that we weren’t meant to be, and so I stuck this little gadget back inside a box in a drawer and there it has stayed ever since.
 
It has travelled in that box to every place I have ever rented and lived, and now it sits back in the same drawer it was first put in all those years ago (although that drawer has been stylishly painted and refurbished since then). I had travelled to 23 countries outside of my own in that time, seen the world in so many different forms, and yet I still continued to deny myself the one place I desired to see the most. A denial for good reason perhaps – a certain stigma had been created around it through various events – and so I didn’t find myself worthy of ever bringing this dream to fruition. Until now.
 
On Monday I was tired of dreaming. I threw aside all my other plans and research, the half-a-dozen other countries I was mistakenly putting ahead of it on my list as if purposely keeping true dreams on the back-burner, and started reconnecting with old ideas again. Over time they had become less tainted by the past, and so a new excitement grew inside stemming from the old.
 
On Tuesday I bought a ticket to Japan.
 
On Wednesday I took this little piece of plastic and metal out of its box and smiled while looking at it for the first time in a long time. Out of all the things I have donated to charity to downsize my belongings while travelling abroad, this I was never able to let go of and now after all this time it will finally be able to realise its potential (as do I).

What a way to see out 2016 – an emotional roller-coaster of a year already – and get me ready for my 2017 life teaching English abroad. It is crazy wonderful how time moves our desires around in circles until we reach the places and maturity levels needed to go after them properly. I don’t think I would ever have been able to fully appreciate the opportunities presented me these next 12 months at the level I currently am if it wasn’t for the pain, hardship and sacrifice of my past. It has made all of this that much sweeter.

Three questions to bring you closer to a happier reality…

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I have a confession to make: I’m addicted to searching for quotes on Google that inspire me. I am very picky about what I like, but when I find that perfect quote that looks as good as it makes you feel (big praise to those great people with amazing typography skills) it works as an awesome mood booster. I know for a fact that I’m not alone in this obsession, the internet’s abundance of “quote imagery” proves that, but as far as time wasters go I think this is a fairly positive one.

Once you learn how to be happy, you won’t tolerate being around people who make you feel anything less.” – Unknown.

I think if I had of read this quote at any other time in my life I probably would have kept scrolling, but after being on the roller coaster high of a lifetime and then coming off of it and tripping over all sorts of messy and unnecessary road bumps, I’ve now reached a place where I actually got it when I came across it today: We are all in control of our own reality, no one else, and we are also responsible for our own purpose, direction, and the people whose lives we opt to put our energy into. Our choices are everything, and they’re especially important when they’re not easy.

 

The best project you will ever work on is you!” – Unknown.

Don’t forget that the value you put into yourself will become the value you pass onto others and the world around you. There is a huge difference (mammoth, really) between being a self-centered or selfish human and the idea of working on making yourself better with the intention of benefiting the whole world and people that surround you. The current social state of this planet has proven it can be incredibly mean and unfair, but that does not mean you have to be. The phrase if you can’t beat ’em, join ’em does not apply here. Fight until you are forced to walk away. Work on yourself and push your limits. Don’t coast through life, and learn to recognise the difference between people who also want to build themselves and those who just want you to do the work for them.

Ask yourself these simple questions:

  • Is what I’m doing building me into a better person?
  • Can what I’m doing be shared for a greater good (either now or in the foreseeable future)?
  • Am I doing the work needed instead of making excuses to get out of it?

If all your answers point to yes, then you are on a wonderfully constructive path. That is your reality, so cherish it. Don’t over-complicate it because success is measured in many ways. If the answer was no, things can be changed. That’s the beauty of life!

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Travel beginnings and ends.

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Photo by Erika Kochanski.

 

“Nothing perishes in the whole universe; it does but vary and renew its form.” — Joseph Campbell.

I sure hope that’s true, that all things reform and carry on searching. That’s what we’re all doing, aren’t we? Searching and moving forward, and as we do so together we find new truth in ourselves and each other. Collectively we are always changing and affecting; we are but one energy split into countless pieces, moving together and apart. I wonder what pieces I will encounter this year on my newest journeys in writing and travel.

“‘Why not’ is a slogan for an interesting life.” — Mason Cooley.

I have walked, climbed, swam, hiked and trudged sometimes ridiculous distances just to seek something new. Whether it has been through bustling modern cities, old towns, crumbling ruins, lesser known beaches or even rocky mountainsides, in any case my battered and bruised feet have found it worthwhile. Every blister has been forgiven in the face of awe and inspiration. Every weary yawn in turn revived in the celebration of new sensations. Some of the greatest experiences I’ve had have been as a solo female traveller. If this is my past, then I can only expect great things from the future.

“We must let go of the life we have planned, so as to accept the one that is waiting for us.” — Joseph Campbell.

Tomorrow is my last day in Queensland, Australia. I have a rough plan for the next 9 months ahead of me, but beyond that there is much unknown. I have ideas ‘beyond that’, but I have learned that sometimes ideas are best kept secret until their fulfillment. Why? Because ideas can be fragile, so you have to protect them until they’re big enough or strong enough to stand on their own and become tangible plans and truths.

“Snowflakes are one of nature’s most fragile things, but just look what they can do when they stick together.” — Vista M. Kelly.

I’m ready to go searching…